SEX IN UNCONVENTIONAL PLACES

Photo: Google images

So you bored in the bedroom? What you do to bring the spark back is what matters

It is not that hard to be bored by your sex life, a story from a friend about what she and her boyfriend did the previous night or seeing that steamy sex scene in a movie can make you realise that you have a boring sex life; especially when you know you can never try what you saw or heard with your partner because he is conservative. That can be frustrating or even make you lose interest in sex all together because it is the same thing all night every night.  Sex should be spontaneous, fun, wild and exhilarating because it is the crucial element of every relationship, it is what makes you keep coming for more and excited especially when you can never predict how it is going to be like when it happens.

So the traditional sex in the bedroom with your partner is no longer the only place where you can give and receive pleasure. Sex doesn’t have to be a bedroom affair only anymore, but couples can be creative by trying all sorts of new ways to indulge on sex in other places to fulfill all their sexual fantasies. It is not up to the guy to initiate sex or come up with ideas to spice up the romance but a mutual responsibility for both parties. You don’t need to wait for a man to be turned on and when he does get turned on you guys take it to the bedroom and have sex using the same old missionary position when you can just do it right there and then.

When your man is too traditional or shy to try new sex moves or take sex out of the bedroom, you just need to train that man. Turn him into the sex crazed horny beast that you want him to be by talking to him, make that man understand the significance of having great, spontaneous sex with mind blowing orgasms all the time which doesn’t  entirely has to happen in the bedroom, as that is key to a healthy relationship. If he’s too stubborn or proud to listen to a woman telling him what to do in bed – other places -  what he needs is that surprise visit in his office dressed in your nurse outfit under your coat and blow his mind right there in his office desk and show him what he is been missing out on.

That sense of danger that you might be seen by someone is what makes it so interesting and the orgasms are always glorious because is not what you both used too. Now you shouldn’t go to the extreme now and start having sex in all crazy places you can think of like the bathroom in the mall or in an office where anyone can come in; but rather at a place that is unconventional but yet discreet, where you can play and be able to scream when you feel like screaming. The whole point is to have a good time and enjoy the penetration.

Take sex out of the bedroom to the kitchen, shower, pool, balcony, roof top, at a friend’s place while she is out to get more wine at the store, a quickie on the beach etc. Doing that will bring back the interest and fun to sex because each time you are alone with your partner; in that quiet place you’ll just want to rip him off his clothes and the same thing would be going through his mind.   

Religion is a choince not something imposed

PIC: Google images

With so many religions in the world one can never tell which one is best for his spiritual wellbeing. In most instances you find a group belonging to a certain religious group in contrast with other religions by saying they are right and every other religion is misleading the people into false beliefs. Some people are born in a family that belongs to a certain religion that they don’t get a chance to choose for themselves a religion that they think is best.

When born in a Christian family for example, you are expected to grow up to be a Christian and not be part of any religion, but the truth is religion is a choice you must make as a person, not something that’s imposed to you by family, spouse or anyone for that matter. A person has a choice to be part of any religion that he wants to be part of, in South Africa that is a constitutional right.

I for one am a Christian, everything I do is in sync with the Christian ways – well at some degree I think. But that don’t make me look down on other religions and say things like what they preach is not in the bible because I do not understand their ways nor have I been to one of their services to get a clear understanding of their believes. I believe every religion has an essential role it plays spiritually so if you don’t know how they do things and why they do those things the way they do those things when they praying or at church you are in no position to say what they do at the end of the day it all comes to belief, if people believe in something, God will provide for them and they will see miracles happening in their lives and if they do not believe nothing will happen. Every person has the right to choose any religion of his or her choice without being pressurized by family or anyone because all religions have a common goal which is seeing the kingdom of god when they souls get separated from their bodies, what’s is different is how they go about to save their souls.

Don't take what a girl you just met say personal



Pic: Google images

It is easy for a guy to go from being extremely happy to being depressed in a matter of seconds after a conversation with a girl they just met. The reason for their abrupt change of mood is attributed to what a girl said in response to what a guy said or because the girl didn’t respond in a way that they would have liked. It doesn’t have to be like that because as an individual you are in control of your emotions and giving a stranger the power to change your mood is utterly a bad move on a guy’s part especially when he is trying to get his mack on.

The apparent mistake that most guys make when conversing with a girl they just met – whether a friendly chat or chatting with her with an intention of getting under her pants – is that they put needless pressure on themselves and worry too much on the girl’s response instead of focusing on the actual conversation.

As guys we shouldn’t worry about the outcome of approaching because that will make us to start making assumptions that the girl might reject us or we not worthy of her time and that is why when things don’t go the way we would have like our mood changes. But if we keep our heads on the game and talk to girls the way we talk to friends nothing she says will make us feel bad because we don’t care of how she responds but rather our focus is on what we are saying.

The thing is a lot of people are feel and experience a lot of thing in one day so one can never really tell how the girl is feeling like, for example she has baby daddy issues, she got dumped, she’s in a bad mood or she is just a lesbian and is not to guys at all. So if you talk to a girl that is experiencing one of the factors above and she says something harsh and you take it personal is not the way to go, rather make fun of her bad mood.

If things don’t go well during an interaction or she hits a nerve with her response its fine, don’t take it personal just keep calm and move on because life is too short to feel sorry for ourselves. Remember girls get approached all the time by a whole lot of crazy guys to the point where some girls just shut every guy out as a defense mechanism, so feeling bad because of that is frustrating yourself on something you have no control over.      

WORK HARD AND PLAY HARDER

Good times: professionals having a drink after work. Pic: Goole images

 

 

Some people have this notion that in order for them to succeed in their careers, or in their studies they need to drop everything else and only focus on achieving that goal – whether is getting that highest qualification or being the best at what they do in their respective profession. Some go as far as not having a social life all together and focus on acquiring that degree. Some focus so much on their careers that it become their life and by the time they want to start having a social life or dating they realise it is too late for them because they old and everyone is taken or clueless about dating and relationships that they keep saying the wrong things. It doesn’t have to be that way, you can have both social life and focus on achieving whatever goal you have simultaneously. Being a party animal and a career person is no recipe for failure if you do it right.  There is a misconception that if you play hard and work hard you may lose focus and end up failing to achieve your goal, but the reality is you can balance, have a wild social life and still be the best at what you do.

The high levels of anxiety at work or school are attributed to focusing too much on what you doing that you think about it all the time to the point that you start doubting you can do it despite the hours you put in it. But, if you take time out once in a while to have fun with friends then go back to the assignment you were working on later, you may get the inspiration you needed to overcome that obstacle you had. Stressing and worrying about hitting a brick wall in what you were working on doesn’t help because you will be thinking about it but not coming up with solutions. As the saying goes “worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it don’t get you anywhere,” going partying or on a date while you on a deadline might be what you need to stimulate your mind and inspire new ideas because while you out having fun, you wouldn’t be thinking about work. When you come back to what you were working on; your mind would be fresh and full of ideas.

Pic: Google images

Give it your 100% in every project you working on but don’t turn that into your life to the point that it ends up being the only thing you do. When feeling overwhelmed by it, take time out and hit the clubs – hence the title of this peace, ‘WORK HARD AND PLAY HARDER.’ When I was still in varsity and we had a hectic schedule of back to back assignments and tests that all of my classmates would be going around campus like headless chickens with more than five books in their hands that they borrowed from the library, worrying, stressing and school would be the only topic they talk about. My boys and I we would be calm, laughing, having fun, making plans for the weekend while doing our assignments, and when we feel like we tired or have done enough for the day we would walk to the liquor store and buy ourselves a nice bottle and drink up – true story. At that moment school would be the last thing on our minds, but later that night we sleep over at Nhlahla’s place and work the whole night.

We made a name for ourselves because our classmates would see us drinking while they were worrying about assignments, but when the results come back we passed; well it wasn’t distinctions but it was the right mark enough to get us to the next year. People started thinking that we geniuses but the truth was we not. We just never allowed ourselves to be stressed about school work because when the going was getting tough, we relaxed and had a good time, but when we get home we make sure we work hard to achieve our goal.

Pic: Google images

 Never allow your goal to control who you are because really if you give it your all in your work, put in the hours and effort, having wild nights in between will never derail you and prevent you from getting that promotion or graduating cum lauder in your qualification. Remember you are awesome and if you put your mind into something nothing can stop you to get it

WHO TO VOTE FOR IN THIS HIGHLY CONTESTED ELECTION?

Picture: Google images

With South African 2014 general elections weeks away, the ruling party and opposition parties are bombarding us with their communication messages trying to sell us their ideologies and get our votes. It is ultimately up to us, the citizens to make an informed decision as to whom we choose to run our government. No matter what the political parties say about one another in the media – like saying who is corrupt or this party is misleading the public – we as active citizens must be objective and critically accept all the messages from all the political parties before making our decision.

It is hard to know who is wrong and who is right as political parties constantly point fingers at each other, blaming one another on the social ills our nation is faced with forgetting the most critical element which is focusing on how they will bring about change in the country instead of attacking each other.

As voters we should be critical as to which party we choose to run our government – vote with our heads, not hearts by following the masses or close acquaintances. Your vote is your voice for transformation, no one needs to know which political organisation you going to vote for and no one has the right to tell you which party to vote for.

I for one have accepted and critically listened to all the policies and promises that each party promises and can say that some parties are just all talk and have no constructive plan in place to deliver on the promises they make. I have heard it all from political parties – no corruption, better health care, free education, combat crime, create jobs etc. I have yet to hear what I haven’t heard before from political parties; something that’s not cliché a message that conveys exactly how the political party is planning to deliver the promises they making.

All what some of these political parties promise are basic factors that every government around the world should provide for, in my opinion they shouldn’t even include them in their manifestos but rather communicate what makes them unique and what actions they intend on taking to make this country to be at the same level as western countries. We can’t be hearing similar promises from every political organisation about change is in our hands because we already know that. What we need to be hearing are plans in place to move forward as country, because yes we don’t need a corrupt government that is apparent, so parties need to stop pulling the corruption card all the time to try convincing us to vote for them. Give us the voters some credit, we smarter than that.    

Before making a decision as to which party you vote for, scrutinise all the messages from all the parties and go for the one that you see its promises best serve you as an individual and are attainable, contemplate on where you want this country to be and choose a party that shares the same vision as you. 

Never confess your feelings

Couples embracing, Pic: Google images

A few years back I was one of the frustrated guys that didn’t understand how can I do all the right moves, say all the nicest things to girls but still not get the girl in the end; then end up falling to the dreaded friend-zone that has made a lot of brothers develop what I like to call, ‘gay tendencies’. I could not get the girls that I really liked, but had all the luck with girls that I wasn’t attracted to. It came to a point where I almost thought there was something wrong with me; especially when a girl that I dated dumped me for telling her I love her and showing her affection.

 As my confident plumaged and my self-esteem dipped, I start asking myself why is it that all the girls that I’m NOT interested in like me so much? Why is it when I start liking those girls that I wasn’t interested in initially, all of a sudden they all run? After a long conversation with myself and 4 beers later it finally hit me, I finally realised that if I talk with a girl that I don’t like I don’t think too much about what I’m about to say and try to make it sound better, I don’t convey messages that show her I’m interested in her, and finally I realised that I can practically say anything to a broad that I’m not attracted to and actually get away with it and worse, the broad will actually like the crap I just said about her in her face and want to have my babies.

After making that realisation, I started observing social behaviors. I watched the guys that I knew were successful with women and scored all the hottest girl in the neighborhood. To my surprise, my little observational research revealed that the guys that where chicks magnet actually showed no affection to their girls what so ever, this discovery that I have just made didn’t make sense to me. I ended up convincing myself that I should actually go and ask my neighbor Bongani how he does it because he was getting more action that a Rambo movie, now Bongani was no ordinary chick magnet. He was the ultimate Casanova, I’m talking about he was the one putting girls on the friend-zone, girls that where my dream girls at the time. That is why he earned the name Master bongs, which I use, referring to him.

What he told me was that, the worst advice I can get about getting a girl is when someone tells me to be myself. He also said girls believe they want one thing and quite frankly they are looking for the quite opposite of what they say they want. The words he told me that day opened my eyes and made me see the dating game differently.

 I realised that girls from my class, in the movies, basically all the girls in general always say that they want prince charming, a real gentlemen, a dude that will be a shoulder to cry on, open doors, and a guy that will listen, basically a guy that you will read about in all the romantic novels. But when I look at their boyfriends, I saw they are none of that, they are total jerk asses that don’t care about anyone else but themselves, and their penis of course. In fact, I remembered asking myself years ago, before I even had a chat with the great one, Master Bongs. What is it that these girls see in these jerks they dating because what these guys do is treat them like crap.

The master told me that he is not immune to love, what he does is when he sees that he is starting to catch feelings, he don’t walk away, but he runs away and never calls again to avoid heart ache. OK I’m quite against that advice because I believe we should give love a chance. Anyway, that’s when I started changing my approach, buy that I mean I became less affectionate, I didn’t talk about my feelings, I made sure that I don’t show a girl that I love her even when I am deeply in love. I’d walk away even when my heart wanted me to stay. All of that didn’t make any sense to me, but to the females it was magic. In parties when we all drunk I acted like sex is the last thing on my mind and that actually made me more desirable to them female.

Now what I’m basically trying to say to all you niggaz out there, never talk about feelings to girls or be emotionally attached unless you truly sure that the feeling you have towards that particular girl is mutual, because if you do you are shooting yourself in the leg. All these things that I have talked about which are not logical work like a charm to females and it’s what they like for some reason that is still beyond my comprehension. Now I’m not saying all broads are like that, but I’m saying most of them are like that. So have fun and stay pimping, never confess your feelings too early in the game unless you planning on marrying the girl. Show love but not too much, be romantic in your own right not the way they do it in romantic movies and your girl will love you forever. 

Is advertising not in sync with reality?

Calif. Milk Board Yanks Controversial PMS Ad Campaign (Google images)

Advertising agencies know that consumers prefer entertainment than facts, that is why they concentrate their adverts on entertainment to catch the interest of the consumers and make consumers relate to the products that their promoting. Advertisers know that the only way to appeal to consumers is through entertainment and less facts and information about the product its-self. However, there are disadvantages when agencies dwell on entertainment and forget about the facts and information about the products they are representing. Misunderstanding will occur, because the adverts will contain less information about the product being advertised, sometimes consumers won’t understand what the advert is trying to convey to them - the actual message of the advert - because it contains less information about the product. Consumers only watch the advert for their own enjoyment; not for understanding what is being said about the product.

Advertisers should focus their adverts on giving more information about what is being advertised and have little bit of entertainment, to capture the attention of consumers. They must also give rational reason for consumers to purchase what’s being advertised, unlike making adverts that are not meaningful and won’t benefit consumers, for example, being chased by twenty women, because of a certain deodorant that you used that morning.

It is point-less spending millions of rands on communication message that is not understood by all, or worse people watch the advert for enjoyment because the ad contains more entertainment than the facts about the product and in the end they still don’t understand the message.

According to an article posted on news 24, by Tony Koenderman, in October 28, 2010 Mike Abel from M&CSaatchi, identifies five articles of faith about the modern consumer: people seek value, they trust you more if they like you, they like consistency, they want self-belief and conviction from us, and they need to be loved, understood and respected.

Sometimes agencies use this article of faith about the modern consumer to their advantage, in some cases in a good way by giving consumers value for their money, trust, consistency, love, respect etc… and in some cases advertises use the articles of faith about the modern consumer, to manipulate consumers.  It is also evident that advertisers use the mass media to manipulate or mislead consumers by exaggerating the facts about the product to give it that dramatic effect and to make consumers see the product as the best than other products that are in competition with the one advertised.